Stay at home mum

I feel that when I tell people I don't work, they think that I'm livin' the life. Lying in the sun, drinking a cocktail and smoking a cigar. Truth is, being a stay at home mum is not as easy as it may seem.

People may think that:

• I can wake up late. False. I still have to wake up with the kids for school and get them ready.

• I don't have a boss. False. I have three bosses and I have to obey them immediately!

• I don't have deadlines. False. My day is full of deadlines and a race against the clock.

• I am always with the kids. True. Apart from when they are at school, they have me all the time.

• During the day, I don't have a moment to myself. True. If I'm not with one, I'm with the other.

• I can't workout. False. Very difficult but I always find the time and we do it together.

• I saw their first step. True. The most beautiful moment of my life.

• I heard their first word. True. I was there, 'da-da'.

• I spend most of my time at home. False. More time in the car and outside of the house.

• I don't speak to a lot of adults. True. I talk to mum, husband, sister and neighbours a lot. But the rest of the time I'm baby talking.

• I miss the satisfaction my job gives me. True. That satisfaction is something you can't explain.

• I get a different kind of satisfaction with the kids. Also true. Mostly when they accomplish something and make me proud.

• I am afraid I will forget all the history and the languages. True. But I know it's not gonna happen, I have repeated the information so many times for years.

• Very difficult for me to forget something regarding my kids' school. True. I am focusing a lot on them.

• I don't have the stress that I can't attend an activity at school, or I won't be home when they get there from school. True. I know I will be there and on time.

• I miss my pay cheque. TRUE. Who doesn't?

• I don't feel the guilt that someone else is doing the job as a mum. True. I am the one doing everything for them.

• I may feel lonely at times. False. I don't have time to feel lonely!

• The kids want me to go back to work. False. They want me here, that's what they got used to really.

• I have everything under control and we have a schedule we follow, a daily routine. False. We are a mess and time goes by very fast. Sometimes I plan to take them out to play at 5pm, it's 6.30pm and we are still in.

• I feel like a maid. True. Cleaning after the kids is a full time job. The thing I hate most is picking up the toys from the floor.

• I feel like I'm on the TV programme, ready, steady, cook. True. All day long. Cooking and feeding feels like it's never ending.

• The kids get involved more with me with regards to housework. True. Anywhere else no one will oblige them to help with the chores.

• I don't have sick leave, off days, rest days, nothing. True. Even when I am sick, I have to go on.

• What I do is not appreciated. False. I get lots of thank yous and love yous. I think that is what keeps me going. I have to make myself believe this.

• The kids don't miss any events, parties etc. True. Mummy the taxi driver takes them everywhere!

• I am more relaxed than working mums. False. My life is whining, crying, screaming, nagging.

• I miss going out with my friends. False. I know this is temporary so I will do that again someday.

• I can't go shopping on my own. True. I have to carry the lot with me.

• I feel more guilty than working mums if I don't take them out everyday. True. When I worked I had the excuse that I didn't have time to take them, but being with them makes me feel guilty if we don't do something everyday.

• I'm in my bathrobe watching TV and drinking tea. False. I don't stop a bit during the day. I don't even sit down to eat something. I warm up the same cup of tea average 3 times!

• I want to go back to work. True. Mixed feelings, but I miss meeting hundreds of people every week.

• I am doing a great sacrifice. True. More than one can imagine. There's no 9-5.

• I spend too much time with my kids. True. Sometimes I think that they want some alone time themselves too!

• I feel guilty of leaving them with other people. True. Coz since I don't work, they are my job. And nobody does your job.

Being a parent is always hard, whether it's a working dad, a working mum, a stay at home mum. There isn't one easier than the other when the parents put the needs of their kids first. I had to do a list of pros and cons and did my choice. Even choosing a way is difficult.

I truly think that being a stay at home mum is not for everyone. One has to be very dedicated and has lots of patience. I end up feeling like I am not worthy and not doing anything special. To take care of my own emotional well-being, I started writing the book very late at night, when everyone is sleeping. My luxury alone time during the day is when they are all in the car and I am outside walking to my door. Whilst the average parent spends 34 minutes a day with the kids, I spend around 15 hours with the baby and 7 hours with the others. No wonder I'm stressed and I'm a mummy in a hurry!