I feel that when I tell people I don't work, they think that I'm livin' the life. Lying in the sun, drinking a cocktail and smoking a cigar. Truth is, being a stay at home mum is not as easy as it may seem.
People may think that:
I can wake up late. False. I still have to wake up with the kids for school and get them ready.
I don't have a boss. False. I have three bosses and I have to obey them immediately!
I don't have deadlines. False. My day is full of deadlines and a race against the clock.
I am always with the kids. True. Apart from when they are at school, they have me all the time.
During the day, I don't have a moment to myself. True. If I'm not with one, I'm with the other.
I can't workout. False. Very difficult but I always find the time and we do it together.
I saw their first step. True. The most beautiful moment of my life.
I heard their first word. True. I was there, 'da-da'.
I spend most of my time at home. False. More time in the car and outside of the house.
I don't speak to a lot of adults. True. I talk to mum, husband, sister and neighbours a lot. But the rest of the time I'm baby talking.
I miss the satisfaction my job gives me. True. That satisfaction is something you can't explain.
I get a different kind of satisfaction with the kids. Also true. Mostly when they accomplish something and make me proud.
I am afraid I will forget all the history and the languages. True. But I know it's not gonna happen, I have repeated the information so many times for years.
Very difficult for me to forget something regarding my kids' school. True. I am focusing a lot on them.
I don't have the stress that I can't attend an activity at school, or I won't be home when they get there from school. True. I know I will be there and on time.
I miss my pay cheque. TRUE. Who doesn't?
I don't feel the guilt that someone else is doing the job as a mum. True. I am the one doing everything for them.
I may feel lonely at times. False. I don't have time to feel lonely!
The kids want me to go back to work. False. They want me here, that's what they got used to really.
I have everything under control and we have a schedule we follow, a daily routine. False. We are a mess and time goes by very fast. Sometimes I plan to take them out to play at 5pm, it's 6.30pm and we are still in.
I feel like a maid. True. Cleaning after the kids is a full time job. The thing I hate most is picking up the toys from the floor.
I feel like I'm on the TV programme, ready, steady, cook. True. All day long. Cooking and feeding feels like it's never ending.
The kids get involved more with me with regards to housework. True. Anywhere else no one will oblige them to help with the chores.
I don't have sick leave, off days, rest days, nothing. True. Even when I am sick, I have to go on.
What I do is not appreciated. False. I get lots of thank yous and love yous. I think that is what keeps me going. I have to make myself believe this.
The kids don't miss any events, parties etc. True. Mummy the taxi driver takes them everywhere!
I am more relaxed than working mums. False. My life is whining, crying, screaming, nagging.
I miss going out with my friends. False. I know this is temporary so I will do that again someday.
I can't go shopping on my own. True. I have to carry the lot with me.
I feel more guilty than working mums if I don't take them out everyday. True. When I worked I had the excuse that I didn't have time to take them, but being with them makes me feel guilty if we don't do something everyday.
I'm in my bathrobe watching TV and drinking tea. False. I don't stop a bit during the day. I don't even sit down to eat something. I warm up the same cup of tea average 3 times!
I want to go back to work. True. Mixed feelings, but I miss meeting hundreds of people every week.
I am doing a great sacrifice. True. More than one can imagine. There's no 9-5.
I spend too much time with my kids. True. Sometimes I think that they want some alone time themselves too!
I feel guilty of leaving them with other people. True. Coz since I don't work, they are my job. And nobody does your job.
Being a parent is always hard, whether it's a working dad, a working mum, a stay at home mum. There isn't one easier than the other when the parents put the needs of their kids first. I had to do a list of pros and cons and did my choice. Even choosing a way is difficult.
I truly think that being a stay at home mum is not for everyone. One has to be very dedicated and has lots of patience. I end up feeling like I am not worthy and not doing anything special. To take care of my own emotional well-being, I started writing the book very late at night, when everyone is sleeping. My luxury alone time during the day is when they are all in the car and I am outside walking to my door. Whilst the average parent spends 34 minutes a day with the kids, I spend around 15 hours with the baby and 7 hours with the others. No wonder I'm stressed and I'm a mummy in a hurry!