One topic which is always discussed amongst us mothers is nighttime.
Nighttime definition: The time between evening and morning; the time of darkness; the time from dusk to dawn. It does not necessarily mean a time to lie down, close your eyes and sleep. I feel that this topic is a bit like teething, some mothers say they didn't know their kids were teething, how unfair!
Mother X : "Oh, my baby started sleeping the night at 1 month".
Me: "Oh, thank your lucky stars mama, my eldest baby started sleeping the night when she was 5. Not months but years!".
Silly me, I believed that sleep regressions come at certain ages. I googled sleep regression and tips on how to handle it so many times. I had done everything they said. I read that they do it with teething, travel, change in routine, sickness and stress. If my kids didn't sleep because of teething, they would compete with the catfish, who has 9,280 teeth! And hey, I am stressed even more than my kids, but I can still sleep like a baby.
All three slept in our bed. With my first born, the night was very stressful. We never slept. Jaimee just refused to lie down in bed. She only slept if I held her while standing up. She would be sound asleep, then I get tired, I sit down and she would start crying again. But wait my 3 kids don't cry, they scream. I'm glad they didn't talk at that age, they can't repeat the phrases I used to calm them down with. They were very gentle words of course. I was often told, I looked a lot like someone from the movie The Exorcist, after around 5 hours of baby crying non stop in the middle of the night. Would you blame me? I wouldn't blame you.
Sometimes I found it was useless to go from room to room, with a screaming baby, so I would go for a jog, at 4 am. I think people thought I stole a baby, seeing me run with the pram at 4 am. When she was a bit older she would want to eat or play at around 2 am/3 am. So I used to lie on the kitchen floor and on many occasions I slept there. After 5 days no sleep, I would normally look like a zombie. Couldn't be bothered to do anything, a big headache, sand in my eyes, back pain, I felt light headed and exhausted.
Mothers can relate to this, kids will not sleep the night, if the next day you have something important and need to get up early. They will never wake up on their own if you have an early appointment, or if they have school. But they will wake up on their own super early if it's the weekend or if they are on holiday. Why can't we sleep in a bit? No matter what time you put them to bed, they will wake up early.
I can't understand how kids can sleep at a party with loud music and lots of screaming, and they will wake up at home with just a small noise of a door closing or moving a chair. What always made me so depressed was when I looked up how much hours of sleep they needed at their age. How did they manage to go on with such little sleep? And they never looked tired.
My second was quite good at sleeping from birth to 2 years. Maybe coz he took a dummy which calmed him down a lot. He would sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 10 am (he would wake up maybe 3/4 times during the night for a feed). Then sleep for 3 hours in the afternoon. I can't complain there. But after 2 years, OMG!! Shoot me! That's when he stopped taking the dummy. He woke up at least 3 times at night, screaming at the top of his lungs, kicking and it went on forever. That made me so tired and furious. Mostly because I had to get up early for work and I was also pregnant. I didn't know what he wanted which was even more stressful. P.S. This thing stopped recently.
Those mothers who have been through it can confirm that time just stops at night. During the day, coz you need to get things done, time goes super fast. But at night, you look at the clock, it's 1 am. A lot of time goes by, you look at the clock again and it's 1.05 am. Nightmares are very common with kids too. I remember having them myself. I used to dream I was screaming and the more I tried to scream, no voice came out. Jaimee still gets them. And sometimes she wakes up too. My worst night ever was when I went to bed at midnight, Jaimee had a nightmare at 1 am, Aimee woke up for her feeds at 2 am and 5 am, and Sam woke up to scream at 3.30 am.
I learned a lot of lessons with my other 2. Maybe that is why I am much calmer this time with Aimee. Rule number 1 to me is, I don't wake the baby up to change the nappy. I don't leave the lights on coz she would think it's daytime. If baby is in an awkward position, but she's sleeping, I leave her. She must be comfortable if she is sleeping. If she wakes up screaming, and it's never ending and I feel she is in pain, I give her paracetamol. Taking her to the nappy changer and taking her baby grow off really helps too. I am not gonna write about my little one's sleep, coz I'm afraid I will be jinxed!
What I learned from my three kids is that all children are different. And it's not what you do really, it's them. Their character, their mood. My three were one completely different from the other. So they are the problem, not us perfect mamas!
Comments