Some people call it a mistake, or a surprise, or a gift. I call her Aimee. It took me about 31 weeks to accept the idea that I was having my third child. When the test came positive, I freaked out. I used to wake up with a panic attack in the middle of the night and cry.
Why did I cry? Coz all these thoughts came to my mind;
* We had a holiday booked for that Summer
* It was my first day back at work
* It was Sam's first day at playschool
* I had just started potty training Sam
* He had just started to become very naughty
* Jaimee was soon gonna start having exams
* I was never gonna go back to work for sure
* How was I gonna manage with three kids?
* What if I had a fussy crying baby?
* We need another bedroom
* Vaccines again
* More clothes to wash
* I will start breastfeeding and feeding again
* More nappies
* Had just lost the weight and now I will get fat again
My thoughts and fears were not in vain. It was a mother's instinct. I knew the minute I saw that positive, that life was never gonna be the same again.
People were trying to calm me down by saying that I just have to add a chair and plate at the table. NO!!!! It's not true, it's not that easy. It is actually quite tough. I like the house clean and in order, I like my kids to have outdoor play, to get individual time with mummy and daddy, I like to give them a lot of attention, and I like my laundry basket to be empty! One thing people were right about was the fact that once you see that baby in your arms, everything changes.
When Aimee was born, I decided that I was gonna make it. No matter what, the kids were still gonna get the attention, care and love they deserve. The same that Jaimee got during those 6 years she was an only child.
So 8 days after Aimee was born, I took them to the cinema on my own. It was a total disaster. I parked in a hill in Valletta, I had to carry the pram uphill, Sam was sleeping so I had to carry him too. I realised he had peed in his pants. During the movie Sam screamed for about half an hour. While I was feeding Aimee, Sam ran away and I sent Jaimee to go after him. Jaimee put her nachos and sauce on her seat, so when she got up, they flew. Bad mum moment, I picked them up and put them back in the container. I couldn't get back out and buy her another one.
From that day I realised that I needed to plan things better. I started doing lists for everything. Lots of planning and preparation is involved for me to manage to do everything. I will write about the plan I do on Sunday in another blog.
So the number 3, the odd number I hate most, made me become a mummy in a hurry.
I am not here to show the perfect mum. This picture says it all. Aimee is crying, Sam just threw Jaimee's specs in the air and pulled her hair and Jaimee is angry at Sam. This is the real us!
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