No regrets

I am sure all of us have been told to enjoy the time with our kids while they are young. Sometimes I wonder whether the people who say it, are telling us that because they are really satisfied that they did it with their own kids, or because they were too busy to enjoy them themselves and they regret it.

I like to imagine myself in the future and try to imagine how I will see the present. When I am 60 years old (if I live that long), how will I see the 37 year old me? I will surely say that I was crazy then! The everyday things I do now with my children, is what I will relate when I am older. And the memories we are making now, is what my kids are gonna relate. So what I am doing, is what I want them to say about me and about our life together when they were young.

I want them to say that mummy did a lot of sacrifice for us, that mum took us to lots of nice places, that she had a lot of patience with us and that we used to have so much fun. I want them to remember how much I hugged and kissed them, the million times I told them that I loved them, and the hours I spent on the sofa tickling them and how much we laughed. They will also surely say that mum took thousands of photos of us. I love photos because they are all you have left to remind you of special moments. But I just take candid pictures, I don't wait for all of them to look at the camera.

To hear my children say this in the future, I am working so hard in the present. Do I always feel like going to the playground with Sam after school? Do I always feel like painting and baking with Jaimee? Am I always in the mood for giggling with Aimee in the baby gym? Do I always feel like taking them to their activities and parties? Of course not. Hey, I'm only human. Sometimes I wear a smile, coz I have so many things to do, I can't stop thinking about them. Thinking about what I am gonna do next. Maybe they also feel that I am tensed.

My children are gonna remember and laugh at how mum bit her hand, punched the wall, screamed at the top of her voice, stomped her feet, promised she would leave and never come back. Life is not always a bed of roses. But I think these instances are quite short and happen much less frequent than the beautiful moments.

I want to be sure the kids know that to mum they are the most beautiful in the universe and that I am the only one in the whole wide world that wants the best for them. That they are the most important people in the world to me. I wish they will be very close when they are older. Again, this does not just happen. I have to work for it. I have to make sure I am fair with the three of them. No preferences. I don't want them to be jealous of each other. I praise the three of them and shout at the three of them too.

Those 15 minutes a day I spend with each child, are gonna make me have no regrets when I am older. 15 minutes when I actually give my full attention to connect with them. I feel so satisfied when we spend a day together and I see that they had the time of their lives. Before they sleep, we always talk about the day and my last phrase before they dose off is "We had so much fun today!".