Last week a friend of mine shared with me a story about a young mum. Apparently this mum and daughter duo went to a pool with matching swimsuits, the mum had perfect curls tied up with a scarf, loads of pool stuff and a tripod. She was taking loads of selfies and pictures of her daughter at the right angle and with the right light. She was then on her mobile phone most of the time, ignoring her daughter. After she hung up, she collected all of her belongings and left. The toys were not used and the sun block was not even applied.
After a few minutes at the pool taking pictures, this mum could have shared her photos on social media saying things like, 'a perfect day at the pool', 'precious time with my daughter' or even 'making memories'. Other mums who see these photos will feel useless and feel like they are not giving their kids enough time and energy. Maybe the same mum who sees these pics is struggling financially so she can't afford all these things, or she has a full time job and no time to take her daughter to the pool. After work she comes home to prepare home made food for her kids. She could have spent the afternoon playing with her children at home, inventing some fun games. With messy hair, no make up, everyday clothes, adoring this 'perfect' mother at the pool who has it all.
That is why we should never compare ourselves to other people we see on social media. You don't know what happened before and after the photo was taken. Life with kids is not perfect. It can never be, because no kid is perfect. Kids run, scream, throw, juggle, fight, bite, scratch, cry, whine, stomp their feet, pull hair, hit. Maybe there are a few who really have a perfect mum life, an obedient child, a lot of help from family, therefore a lot of time to look after themselves too. And we should all be jealous of them!
Joking apart, we should not compare ourselves to other mothers. I like to follow some mums and take good recipes from them, or a good game for the kids. But I am never jealous of mummies who look amazing all the time, perfect nails, perfect hair everyday, perfect make-up, lots of jewellery, a different designer outfit everyday for the beach, for shopping, for work. I would be jealous if that perfect mama had 3 young naughty kids and they were as happy as mine. You never know the real story behind that perfect picture.
A few weeks ago, I asked my Instagram followers if they wanted to see me in my stories with make up on and with my hair styled. The majority asked me not to. Those who sent me a message said that they felt good seeing me as I am. In the beginning I took that as an offence. Do they enjoy watching me in a mess, so they feel good looking better than me?! But then others told me that I was showing how a real mum's life is. I am not doing anything special, I just can't be fake.
So mummies, continue doing what you're doing and that would be enough for your kids. They are not gonna remember the matching swimsuit and they will not appreciate the perfect picture, but mine will remember me diving in the pool with them, or holding our breath under water, or having blurred photos which have a lot of light or too little of it. You are all doing an amazing job with your kids. The result us mums have is a big smile on our kids' faces, that is the reward.
