From social media I get the impression, that the majority of people have a problem with communication and fear being judged and misunderstood by others, mostly the youths.
Obviously, it's normal and only human that all of us want to be liked by everyone. Since we are young at school, we want the teachers to like us, the schoolmates to be our friends, we are told to follow the crowd, so that we will be liked. We are told to follow the argumentum ad populum, which means that a proposition must be true because most people believe it. The aim is to be valued and accepted by everyone. But can this be done? Or should we go against the flow?
Do we have to like everyone in our lives? Not really right. Therefore we have to accept the fact that not everyone is gonna like us. We all have our own character, passion, likes, dislikes, interests, opinions, difficulties, choices, favourites, fears, fortes and weaknesses.
Our kids are exactly at that stage, where they are building their character and confidence to stand up for themselves, to see who are the negative and positive people around them, choose what makes them happy. Although they will most probably choose all these things on their own, I believe that we as parents should still guide them to see who they want in their lives. I advise my daughter to just be herself and not try to be somebody else. Be a leader and not a follower. Choose friends with similar tastes. Friends who don't judge her and who she feels comfortable with. Those who make her happy and who she looks forward to meet. To avoid negative people, who see the glass half empty and those people who are argumentative.
Once she asked me if she should stop talking to those kids she doesn't like, coz they make her angry she said! I told her that she is gonna meet so many people like that in life and I suggested to still talk to them but just keep it short. Greet....talk about the weather....salute! In that way you are still "friends" with that person but no strings attached.
Our kids should be aware of those people out there who are watching and ready to criticise them. If you cut your hair short it was more beautiful long, if you put make up on you look more beautiful without it, if you get really thin you are sick, if you put on weight you are depressed and you are eating a lot, if you are doing well at school you are studying coz you don't have anything else to do, if you fail you have problems in your family.
Shall we unfollow, unfriend, avoid all the people we don't like? Or shall we learn to live with them? Ignore their comments, go on with our lives as if we never heard them say anything against us.
Our kids are gonna grow up and start working. As we all know, there is always that someone everyone hates at work, the one who gossips with and against everyone. That is who we have to prepare our kids to face!
Since I became a tourist guide 19 years ago, I started meeting so many different people. Different nationalities, different classes, different languages, but I realised they are all the same. I don't want my kids to be shy. I don't mind if they are not as confident as I am, but I believe that if you are not shy, it makes life much easier.
No matter how much we try to protect our kids, we are still gonna see them be judged, misunderstood, hurt. It is very challenging but by preparing them the right way, they will be strong, proud, confident and they will defend themselves. I have faith in them.
Thanks sis. You and I are an example of different siblings. We were different when we were young, we changed, and we still remained different from each other. You were very shy before, I love how you became so outgoing. I am proud of you too xx 💓😘
We are sisters but we are so different, although raised by the same parents. I am so proud of who you turned out to be. You were always more confident and outspoken. And I truly believe that life becomes so much easier for those who don't hide behind their fears. Well done x