Last Sunday we watched the movie Dumbo and since I became a mum, I see things very differently. A lot of things struck me and I kept thinking about them in the car on the way home.
The movie: The mummy elephant, Jumbo, gets very angry when she hears the crowd laugh and make fun of her baby. But isn't that what we all do? We stand up for our kids, but sometimes we cannot overdo it. She ended up imprisoned and the baby suffered even more on his own. When a mum gets hurt, she becomes very dangerous and angry.
My thoughts: Very weird, but the unconditional love of this mum, reminded me of when I lost my first baby. Even though I never saw him, I loved him so much. I was so hurt and confused, and asked so many questions. But what hurt the most was when people told me, 'Don't worry, everything is going to be just fine. You will get pregnant again and have another baby.' In my case, that was the answer that made me feel like doing like Jumbo in the movie Dumbo, breaking and throwing everything. When I lost my dad, no one came up to me, telling me that it was ok, and that I could go look for someone else to be my daddy. Same thing with a baby, even though no one had met him. When I get pregnant, the first thing I do is check the due date of the baby, think of names for girls and boys, do a first appointment. My first was gonna be just perfect, it happened as we planned, his birthday was gonna be very close to my nephew's, and I was over the moon. But when I lost him, I lost a part of me. I didn't want another baby then to replace him, I wanted the baby I had just lost. I needed time to mourn his loss. All I needed at that particular moment was someone to cry for the loss of my baby with me. I was so angry at everyone, and my family members say that they were afraid to talk to me and that I was very pessimistic. The New Year's day to follow during lunch, when we talked about the year 2009, they all said that the worst thing that happened that year was the loss of my baby. I would have still cried, had I known I would have had three children after that.
The movie: Another thing I really liked was the key necklace the girl wore around her neck. Not the key as such, but the story behind it. Her mother who died, had given it to her and told her that she could unlock any door in life with it. We do this a lot too, we do anything to encourage our kids not to lose hope. Dumbo flew coz the girl made him believe in himself. He didn't need the feather to fly anymore.
My thoughts: I thought of when I was doing my exams, after dad died, when I lost my baby, when I broke up with a person, when we were looking for a house and finishing it, when I took a restaurant, when I started guiding. Those were all difficult moments in my life when I needed an imaginary door and a key to unlock it. To go to a different stage of my life. I had to believe in myself and just go on with my life. And this is ongoing, as even now I am experiencing new things. But I am mostly handing the key to the imaginary doors to my kids, to make them follow their dreams. Everything is possible, but they have to be the ones to make it possible, hopefully with my help too.
The movie: When V.A. Vandevere was seeing all he had burn down to the ground a lot of thoughts came to mind. All he cared for was his business, so after he lost it all, he didn't have anyone or anything left. His life was over.
My thoughts: I confirmed even more that making memories, enjoying myself and loving the people around me are the most important things in my life. No one can take those away from me.